How to Tread Water
by Hikari-san42
Summary: Tails, in a bout of insanity, decides that teaching Sonic to swim is a good idea. Unfortunately, the only way to get the hedgehog even remotely close to water is through a bet. Things are about to get interesting.
1. A Bet is Placed

_How to Tread Water_  
_By Hikari-san42  
Universe__: Game  
__Rating__: T  
__Pairings__: None  
__Warnings__: Not my best writing. One cuss word in the prose.  
__Notes__: This came to me while I was watching a show about cats. I think it's horribly written, but I'm tired and it's almost 2 a.m. and I'm not rewriting it. There will be chapters after this, once I get the plot completely figured out (as if it isn't obvious already). This can almost be considered a crack fic because none of it is supposed to be taken seriously. Plus, the writing is absolutely horrid. I'm almost ashamed to be posting it.  
__Disclaimer__: All recognizable characters, places, and ideas belong to their respectable owners. I claim no ownership to anything in this story except the plot and the horrible prose.

* * *

_

"No." The statement was said with a note of finality and a thick accent, reverted to because of the hidden desperation behind the word. "Absolutely not."

"Aw…" The response was pleading, and, when paired with wide blue eyes, it was also deadly. "C'mon Sonic!" A glove encased hand was latched onto, the arm it was connected to dragged down by the unexpected weight of fluffy fox. "It's for your own good!"

"What part of 'no' do you not understand? Do you want me to die?" The first carefully took a deep breath, yanking his hand out of the other's grasp. "A pox on you for even suggesting it."

The other blinked, his large ears lowering as his face went flat. "Been reading those British human books, haven't you?"

Hesitation. "… maybe just a little…"

A sigh came from the young fox. "You really need to learn, Sonic. What'll happen if I'm not there and you fall into some wa-?"

A hand came down on his mouth, making the rest of the statement come out muffled. "Uh uh! We don't speak of such things, Tails!" The hedgehog tutted, patting the other on the head before violently throwing the fox forward, a disgusted look on his face. "Ew! You little heathen," despite the words used, there was a tone of fondness in the voice, "you licked me!"

"Figure out that one all on your own?" Tails shot back, rubbing at his mouth with a gloved hand. "Don't try to change the subject. You need to go to swimming lessons."

The hedgehog simply smiled at the fox, patting him on the head as he walked past, brain full of intention of planting himself on the couch for the next few hours with a video game controller in his hands. "You're cute, Tails; full of crazy ideas. Don't change."

Tails sighed, slowly pursing his friend. "You have the mentality of a Hallmark card," he muttered under his breath before pouncing forward and landing squarely on the hedgehog's back, somehow avoiding the quills that had succeeded in taking down thousands of robots.

"_MUTINY!_" was the only thing that was uttered from the hedgehogas he went down onto his stomach, not daring to struggle for fear of slashing his brother into pieces with his spines.

o0o

Minutes later, Sonic the Hedgehog, hero of Mobius and role model to many, went screaming into a small pool of water with a loud splash. His girlish yells were cut off abruptly as his head went under, but his flailing never stopped. Liquid flooded into his mouth, nose, ears and eyes widened, attempting to see in his blurry surroundings. His feet struggled to catch traction on the slick surface around him, but were unsuccessful and he continued to panic as black spots exploded along his vision.

Suddenly, a surprisingly strong hand grabbed his arm and yanked him upward, his head breaking the surface seconds later. Strangled coughs sounded as the hedgehog attempted to get his lungs free of the offending water clogging them, and he latched onto his savior than less grace than a drunken Knuckles. Arms wrapped around a smaller head and legs flailed as they tried to catch on the bed of the pond.

"Sonic!" Tails yelled, shaking his friend roughly in an attempt to dislodge him from his noggin. "_Sonic!_ Calm down! The water's only two feet deep!"

"Water! Tails, water!" A screech pounded across the clearing, and the fox cringed, his ears pressing into his skull. "I'm in water! I'm gonna _DIE!_"

"No you're not!" A hand came back before swinging forward, clipping Sonic across the jaw. The hedgehog froze, eyes opening wide and staring at the younger one with a face of shock. "It's okay Sonic." Tails rumbled soothingly, detaching himself from the previously hysterical speedster. "See, you're not dead."

The low tone seemed to snap the cobalt mammal out of his trance. His eyes narrowed, and he resisted the urge to launch himself at the smirking kit. "No, but you will be when we get outta here."

"Oh, c'mon Sonic." Now the fox was pleading, seemingly taking the other's sudden mood change in stride. "It's for your own good."

"I don't care. You know better."

"Yes, but you know me… Everything's an experiment?" He winced as it came out as a question and blinked up at his brother with what Sonic had dubbed 'the look'.

The hedgehog crumpled when he caught sight of the fox's large eyes and he gulped to himself, attempting to turn away. "And what exactly were you planning on achieving by tossing me into the most hostile environment possible?"

"I just wanted to make you stronger." Was the answer, mumbled with childish innocence. "Suppose Eggman drops you into water and you _still_ can't swim."

"Hate to break it to you, bud," the fox relaxed a bit at the familiar nickname. "But he already tried. Might I remind you of Labyrinth Zone?"

"Well… _yeah_…" Tails mumbled, glancing to the side. "But that was then. This is now. And _now_ you need to learn to swim!" In the middle of this response, the fox began waving his arms around, splashing water everywhere. Unfortunately, this reaction caused the water to be thrown onto the hedgehog with last word uttered.

Sonic's face was blank as the liquid dripped off his head, and he grinned easily. "Oh yeah?" He lunged forward, grabbing the fox around the middle and hoisting him into the air before tossing him back first into the water. The kitsune went down without a fight, but didn't resurface. Instead, he swam forward, darting through the water like a fish. He grabbed Sonic's ankle before the hedgehog could realize what was going on, and yanked his whole leg out from underneath him. Sonic went down into the water with a sputtered cry.

There was silence in the small clearing for a couple beats before two heads burst through the rippling water. Both glared at the other in silent war, attempting to overpower each other with pure wills while panting for breath.

"A bet then." Sonic began after a few seconds, smiling uneasily. "I know that look. It only shows up on your face when you have a crazy proposition for me."

"Correct." The fox nodded. "A week. I get a week to teach you the basic survival skills you need in the water. If I win, you admit that your phobia was ridiculous and you let me have free reign on the new video game console you just bought."

The hedgehog's face went pale at the mention of his new console, but he wasn't one to back out on a challenge."And if I win?"

"I'll spend a week with Knuckles."

Sonic grinned. Tails hated Angel Island because of its lack of technology as well as its tendency to be a large black zone, no matter where it floated over the planet. Tails would be in pure hell on Mobius on that floating Island.

Not to mention, it would piss Knuckles off to no end.

He contemplated for a few seconds before nodding slowly and reaching a hand out. "You have yourself a deal."

* * *

_There you have it. I have no idea when the next chapter will be up, but it will hopefully be soon and with better writing ability._

_If you at least thought it was decent, please drop me a line. I would greatly appreciate it. _


	2. Coffee and Life Jackets

_How to Tread Water_  
_Chapter 2: Coffee and Life Jackets – Sonic's Two New Best Friends  
Warnings: Curse words.  
Notes: Sorry about being so late. I've been working rather diligently on a large 20__th__ Anniversary fic I'm writing with a friend and haven't much time for anything else. (Info on the profile, if you're interested. :D) Please excuse the end of this mess, it's not up to par with the rest of the chapter and I apologize._

_ENJOY!_

o0o

The night that followed was a rough one, blue hedgehog dreams plagued with images of quivering masses of cobalt comically sinking to the bottom of small oceans and having to live down there without oxygen, constantly gasping for air that didn't exist, but unable to die. Twice he woke up during the night, gasping and clutching his chest, and twice he forced his heart rate back down and his eyes to close, hoping that the nightmare wouldn't resurface.

So it was with great resignation that the speedster hauled himself out of his bed in the morning, eyelids weighing heavy and dark circles coloring around his green eyes. His mouth was set in a firm line, exhaustion hanging off his frame so thickly that one could practically see it in tangible waves. When he sat up, he literally stayed in that position for two minutes, attempting to figure out when exactly the room had started to spin. Once he had managed to catch up with his head and the room had ceased its endless rotations, he slowly slipped on his shoes, fumbling with the buckles long enough for him to curse audibly and just kick them off again. He sluggishly pushed himself fully off the bed and lumbered his way out of the room and down the stairs.

He took the steps one at a time, deliberate and with purpose, as if going down the stairs was one of the hardest things he had ever done (which, at that point in time, it may very well have been). Once he was on the bottom landing, he sighed to himself, running a gloved hand through his disheveled quills and trudged towards the small kitchen off to the left. All was silent in the house, and for that he was grateful. He didn't think he could handle loud sounds this morning.

When he crossed the threshold into the kitchen, he wasn't surprised to see Tails already there, wide eyed and bushy tailed – literally. He was puttering around the small room, randomly mixing things on the stove, grabbing things out of cupboards, opening and closing the fridge, and placing things on the table. To Sonic's sleep deprived brain, it all looked a little too complicated and he groaned inwardly, feeling too shattered to actually vocally express his discomfort. With a thick and heavy sigh, he ambled across the room, walking in a straight line and not caring if he ran straight into the little fox. Luckily, Tails had the hindsight to pay attention, and he dodged the hedgehog with ease.

Sonic's destination was one almost unknown to him. He headed straight toward the furthermost corner from the doorway, sluggishly opening the topmost cupboard and reaching a hand in, groping fruitlessly for something. He scowled when his hand didn't immediately grab what he was looking for, and his eyes narrowed.

"Where is it? Damn it, I need it!" He mumbled to himself, getting on his tip toes and attempting to see into the too high place. When his eyes barely broke the bottom shelf, he cursed roughly again, yanking his hand out and slamming the door, wincing when the loud sound cracked across the room.

"What'cha looking for, Sonic?" Suddenly, Tails was there, looking as cute as can be with his hands clasped in front of him and his blue eyes wide in innocence.

The hedgehog scowled again, this time in reaction to the fox's general chipperness. In his opinion, if he was miserable, everyone around him shouldn't be so damn _happy_. "Coffee," came his one word response. Roughly, he pushed past his friend, marching to the table and plopping down in the first available chair. His head hit the wood seconds later, making a painful sound. "Need caffeine."

Tails clucked low in his throat, reaching under the sink and producing the coffee maker. With a flourish, he set it down, plugged it in, and filled it with the appropriate amount of water and coffee beans. Sonic's ears pricked as the unfamiliar clinking sound rang through room and he turned his head to the side so he was staring down the machine, silently begging it to do its job faster.

"Sonic," Tails began, grabbing a small apple out of the fruit basket hanging from the window, giving it a wash, and walking towards his brother with it held out. The hedgehog reached up and grabbed it, visible effort showing in his movements. "Are you feeling okay? It's not like you to drink coffee. You know how it speeds up your heart."

"Tired s'all." The hedgehog answered slowly, picking up his head and biting into the fruit. He chewed methodically before continuing. "Water. Nightmares."

A guilty look crossed the fox's face and he fell into the chair across from Sonic. "'m sorry, Sonic. But, I'm worried about you. Your phobia has gotten out of hand."

The hedgehog hunched his shoulders and ran a hand down his face, a deep breath racking his frame. "I know, Tails." He paused to stare down his red fruit, searching for the words to continue with. However, before he could continue, a timer dinged and the fox was across the room in a flash. The stove was turned off and a large skillet was yanked away from the hot surface. One of his tails wrapped around a drawer handle and yanked it open, a hang grabbing a hot pad seconds later. He swept to the table and placed the pad down first, then the pan on top of it, the smell of hot sausage wafting towards the hedgehog.

Next the kit dashed across the room, grabbing the coffee pot and a mug before heading back. He handed his friend the cup, pouring in the dark liquid after he made sure Sonic had a good grip on it. The older one stared at the black surface for a few seconds before bringing his nose to the rim and sniffing appreciably. He hadn't tasted coffee in almost a year, not needing that extra boost because his natural energy had always kept him going. Now though, he needed it if he wanted to face the day. He always had to be alert, he told himself as he stared down the cup, in case Robotnik attacked. It wouldn't do if he was deep asleep when the good doctor attacked.

Heaving another sigh, he pressed his lips to the cup and took a small sip, not noticing the fox kit staring at him.

To say Tails was worried would've been an understatement. He could count the number of times Sonic had drank coffee on one hand, and it was always troubling when he did. It signified that his life had been turned helter-skelter to the point that he needed something to help calm his mind or to give him energy. To think that _he_ was part of the reason this time was disconcerting to the young one because he prided himself on being the one calm thing in Sonic's life.

"So Tails," the hedgehog began as he took a big gulp of his drink before grabbing a sausage from the pan set on the table. He already looked more awake. "What does today's swimming lesson entail?"

Tails was blindsided. He had expected sharp opposition to their deal, even if Sonic would end up cooperating in the end. He had been ready to have to drag the hedgehog out of the house by his ankles, forced to fly him to the small lake and dump him in head first.

This was new to him.

"Uh…" He trailed off, looking for small changes in his friend's face that suggested that he was only joking and would – in reality – start begging and pleading not to be thrown into the water. "Well, first we have to get you used to the water and able to lie on your back."

_That_ seemed to get the hedgehog's attention. His eyes widened for half a second before his features were schooled back into their proper position, making Tails think he had just been seeing things. "How long, uh," he gulped, "do you think that'll take?"

The fox shrugged, getting up from the table and walking out of the room. "No idea!" He called back, grabbing something off the couch. "Depends on how much you struggle." He came back in, carrying something orange and not inviting looking. "I looked up swimming lessons online, and they all said that the first thing to do is to get the learner some floatation device. I thought you'd enjoy wearing a lifejacket."

Sonic stared down at the orange monstrosity with something akin to hatred. That small piece of material represented everything he hated about his fear. It showed him that drowning was a trivial fear, that one could easily float with the help of a simple scrap of clothing. He resented life jackets almost as much as floaties, simply because they enabled people with stronger wills than his own to swim around without fear.

He snatched the thing from Tails quickly, glaring it down before slipping it over his shoulders. "Okay." The word was forced through clenched teeth, spat out with venom. With on last swing, he finished his cup of coffee and set down the mug, finally ready to face the day.

"Let's get this over with."

o0o

The walk to the lake was a silent affair, with Sonic trudging and Tails lost in thought. The duo could've been ambushed by badniks and neither would've realized it until after they had been captured. Sonic led the way with thinly veiled glowering, daring any unsuspecting forest creature to cross his path. The whole forest was quiet, as if in anticipation of what was to come.

They arrived fifteen minutes after their initial first step, and Sonic was twitchier than Knuckles when Eggman was within seeing distance of the Master Emerald. He eyed the water with contempt, his newly sneakered feet becoming heavier the closer he got. Yards from the pool, he froze, forcing Tails to knock into his back. The fox hissed as he stumbled backward, nearly taking off an ear on Sonic's sharp quills.

"Tails, I changed my mind."

The fox groaned, rubbing his head and grumbling under his breath. "No going back now, Sonic." He answered sternly, dropping to the ground and pulling off his shoes and socks. "You agreed. Plus, orange is _so _your color."

A sharp breath was taken, arms crossing. "Impertinent fox." Mumbled opposition was let out by the hedgehog and he planted his feet roughly. "I will _not_ be getting into that water, Tails. You'll have to teach me right here, where I can keep an eye on it."

"Sonic, this isn't a surfing lesson… and the water's not gonna rear up and eat your face, I promise." Suddenly, Sonic's leg was pulled out from under him and he was in the air. Loud curses filled the clearing as the small fox towed his newly captured prey towards the blue body of liquid. "Besides, I've found that you learn more from application than from lecture."

The hedgehog was at a loss as to how Tails had managed to sneak up on him, but he was too shocked to do anything about the assault. Instead, he just dangled there in silent protest, sighing inwardly since he knew what was coming.

Tails didn't disappoint as Sonic went hurling into the water, helped along by gravity. He splashed in without a sound and stood easily, crossing his arms once he got his footing and staring down his so called 'little brother'. "You're so grounded."

"Uh huh, yeah." Tails answered flatly, copying the other's pose. "And _you_ promised to learn to swim." He glanced towards the sky, waving his hand with a limp wrist. "Let's try not to make this an everyday occurrence, Sonic. You're really heavy and I'd rather not have to dump you in here every day."

Sonic didn't answer, just launched himself onto the fox, submerging them both. A play fight developed after they had both resurfaced, lasting a good ten minutes as the water-adept Tails swam circles around the sluggish hedgehog.

"You're still grounded." Sonic mumbled as they both caught their breath after their impromptu splashing battle had ended, neither one the definite winner.

Tails groaned.

o0o

_Review please?_


	3. An Echidna Joins the Party

_How to Tread Water  
Chapter 3: An Echidna Joins the Party  
Warnings: More cuss words and __**an out of character Knuckles**__  
Notes: This chapter was a struggle to write, because I knew where I was going but didn't have any idea how to get there. The humor is kinda forced, but still funny, I guess. The next chapter is probably gonna be a while, because I'm picking the anniversary fic back up after this week._

o0o

The lesson that followed was anything but smooth. Blue hedgehog didn't mix well with large bodies of water, and he shook like a leaf the whole time. Tails was exasperated and exhausted fifteen minutes in, but he never gave in. They stayed in the water for a whole two hours, each getting more and more miserable as the time went on.

In that 120 minute period, Sonic achieved flotation. For about five seconds.

The pond they were in was round, with a shallow side and a deeper side, like a swimming pool. Because of this, Sonic insisted on hugging the bank on the shallow end like it was his long lost best friend. His gloves were nearly ruined as they were stained with mud and his peach belly fur wasn't its natural color anymore, but he was alive and that was all that mattered.

It had taken Tails half an hour to get Sonic to let go of the side and walk a little further into the water. Once this was achieved, he asked Sonic to lean into his hands and try to float on his back. Sonic had looked at him with trepidation, eyebrows raised, lips puckered, and eyes wide, but he did what was asked of him.

However, as soon as the quills on his head touched the water and his stomach was turned to the sun, the flailing began. His hedgehog instincts insisted that his belly never be exposed the way it was, and his hips bucked attempting to curl him into a ball. Of course, this caused his head to go under as his center of gravity was pulled into rotation and Tails struggled to keep a hold of him. However, Sonic pulled a full 360 and ended up floating on his abdomen, face full into the water. He spluttered, shooting upward and planting his feet on the bottom of the lake.

Nothing was said for several minutes, Tails staring at his now empty hands with shock while Sonic attempted to get the water out of his ears. The silence was heavy, even the birds quiet as if they were waiting with baited breath for the explosion that was certain to happen.

"Tails…" Sonic muttered, digging his pinky into his ear. "Never ask me to do that again."

"Agreed."

After that, Tails took the remaining time to teach Sonic the _concept_ of floating. Obviously, Sonic would never be able to do it himself unless his life depended on it, but the fox would be darn well sure that he knew the science behind the action. (Even though Sonic insisted that he would always sink to the bottom, because his anatomy was synonymous to that of a rock.)

The whole lesson ended with a breath holding exercise, i.e. Tails attempting to make Sonic stick his head under the water and hold his breath for as long as impossible. Sonic gave him a flat look before hauling himself out of the water, his body language screaming '_HELL NO_!'

The fox sighed, but allowed Sonic his freedom, deeming the whole experience over for the day. The hedgehog walked three feet away from the pool before yanking off his life jacket. It came off with a ripping sound, catching on hedgehog quills and shredding as it came off. Sonic didn't look upset at the loss of his fashion statement, and he simply threw the orange blob of fabric to the side, moving to take a step in the direction of the Workshop and a nice warm blanket.

"You remind me of a drowning Easter Bunny." A gruff voice came from above him, and the speedster's head whipped up unintentionally, ears pricking and eyes narrowing. "Cotton candy blue and soaking wet."

"I hope Chaos eats your face, you sunburned aardvark." Came the quick answer from Sonic as he laced his hands behind his head. The person addressed made an offended noise, and dropped down from where he had been presumably been sitting in a tree.

He was indeed sunburn red, but it was his natural color, not one from skin damage. His eyes were a lavender color, his hands covered in gloves and seemingly fingerless beside his thumbs. He landed a few feet in front of the hedgehog, rising from a crouch with hands on his hips and a flat look on his face. Sonic attempted to sidestep him, but he moved fluidly to block the hedgehog, seeming to read his mind.

After a little while of this, the blue one finally got bored and he sighed while rolling his eyes. "What're you doing here, Knuckles?" His tone was annoyed, conveying the look on his face well. "Don't you have a rock to make googly eyes at?"

"This is much more entertaining to watch." Knuckles crossed his arms, mimicking the one in front of him. "Did you know that you make small yelping noises when you're unhappy?"

"We'll see what kinda noises I make when my foot is stuck up your a-!"

"Woah now! Testy testy!" Knuckles held up his hands in an attempt to placate the hedgehog in front of him. "You're cranky when you're wet."

"Yeah, well, we'll see how cranky I'll be when I shove your face into the dirt."

"… What's with you and the violent threats? Did you trade places with Shadow without me knowing?"

Sonic opened his mouth to reply, probably with a stinging retort, but Knuckles continued, interrupting him in the process.

"Oh, lemme test it! I'm gonna say three words, and I want you to tell me the first thing that pops into your head."

Sonic stayed silent.

"_Space Colony Ark_."

A flat expression. "Maria."

Blink. "Who?"

"_I don't remember_…" Sonic's voice was pitched low in an attempt to sound like the darker hedgehog, his hands gripping his head. "All I remember is this girl with blond hair and running… Oh, the _running_! Then, there was a gunshot! So, _obviously_ I should have a gun! Gimmie a gun, damnit!"

Knuckles, seeming to take Sonic's sudden mood change in stride, grinned easily before gesturing forward with one hand and bowing low at the waist. "All hail Shadow."

That was too much for Sonic. His sour expression and mood flew from existence as an image of Shadow wearing a ridiculous robe and crown popped into his head. He dropped to his knees in laughter, holding his sides and gasping for breath. Knuckles wasn't far behind, enjoying the feeling of laughing for the first time in months.

It was this scene that the newly dried Tails walked up on, namesakes swinging happily behind him. He stared at his big brother and rival laughing like old pals, and rolled his eyes before stepping around them and continuing back towards the workshop.

"_I'm Knuckles! I'm Sonic's best friend!"_ The phrase passed through his head once, leaving weird feelings of déjà vu and confusion. He didn't recall Knuckles ever saying anything like that, but the words somehow felt _right_ to the little fox. He shrugged to himself, walking further into the forest. That wasn't important right now. _Though, I would love to know where that __hat__ came from_…

o0o

When Tails ambled into the workshop about fifteen minutes later, he was shocked to see the door hanging slightly off its hinges, a large fist shaped dent in the thick wood. Further exploration into the house yielded upturned couch cushions, video discs and video games strewn across the floor, towels trailing from the downstairs bathroom up to the middle of the stairs. The kitchen was in complete shambles, the table upside down, chairs thrown across the room, cupboards opened and emptied, and the refrigerator ajar, cold air escaping into the room. The counter, however, was pristine, and one look at what was resting on it told him why.

When Sonic and Knuckles stumbled in minutes later, they were greeted with an unhappy fox leaning against the wall across from the door, a small, purple Tupperware bowl dangling from his fingertips. "Enjoy your grape fix, Knuckles?"

"Ehe…" Knuckles gulped, his hand reaching up to grab the doorframe tentatively. It was quickly pulled back however, when the kit sent a glare at him.

Sonic nearly fell over when he walked past the small foyer area into the living room. He stared at the room in shock, calculating the price it would take to repair everything. A hand came up to rub the bridge of his nose, his eyes squinting closed and a deep breath wracking his frame. "Tails," he began, looking towards the fox in question. "Go upstairs."

Tails opened his mouth to retort, but Sonic cut him off.

"I'll take care of this. _Go upstairs_; straight to your room. You're still grounded."

"But-!"

"No buts, Tails! Gimmie your screwdriver and march! No electronics, no books larger than the human Bible, and absolutely no blueprints. You hear me?"

A pair of ears were lowered, dejected and sad. "Yes Sonic." He handed over his tool and turned slowly, making his way towards and stairs and disappearing up them.

Sonic rounded on Knuckles, his left eye twitching and his bad mood back full force. "Knuckles…" He trailed off, attempting to find the words. "Is that why you came down here? For _grapes_?"

"Well… _Maybe_…" The echidna spoke with an apprehension that he hadn't displayed in a long time. At Sonic's look, he bit his lip and nodded slowly. "I ran out on Angel Island…"

"What possessed you to tear up my _living room_?"

Knuckles shrugged. "My blood sugar was low… You weren't here… I forgot that grapes belong in the kitchen."

"They're a _food_ item, Knuckles!"

"I live on a _floating_ Island! Household particularities aren't exactly my specialty."

"Common sense isn't one of your specialties either!"

"Okay, I deserved that. I can help to clean it up and pay for any damage…"

Sonic sighed again, deep and low, turning and throwing his hands in the air. "Don't worry about it, Knucklehead. You've done enough."

Knuckles was at a loss. He didn't _remember_ trashing the house, but he very much went into a blind fog when he was craving grapes and none were immediately available. It was a character flaw he had, along with his inability to get along with anyone with a softer skull than Sonic's, and even the hedgehog pressed on his nerves.

The echidna moved to attempt to talk Sonic into letting him pay for something, _anything_ but the hedgehog froze, back going straight.

"What do you know about swimming, Knux?"

The echidna was blindsided, shocked at the hedgehog's sudden subject change. "I taught myself to swim when I was young…"

Sonic turned, a small smile on his face. "I think we can strike a deal…"

o0o

_There's a little known (or well known for all I know) fact that Knuckles absolutely adores grapes. Of course, I embellished a little on exactly how much he _needs _them. His reaction was based on one of my own 'grape rampages' (I'm very much obsessed with them as well) except I didn't go to the extreme of property damage. XD _

_Review please? _


	4. Kitchen Conversations

_How to Tread Water  
Chapter 4: Kitchen Conversations  
Warnings: Cuss words again.  
__**Notes**__: Yeah, I know, I'm late. So sue me. I have a life. And yes, I realize it's short. It's mainly filler anyway, though there are a few important details that are conveyed. Let's see if you pick up on them ;D_

* * *

The rest of the day went by quickly, with Sonic and Knuckles working to clean the house in a comfortable silence of companionship. They moved quickly, Sonic zipping around the room to move little things back into place while Knuckles lumbered, picking up the heavier objects. The living room was spotless ten minutes later, only a few cracked and broken video discs a testament to the shambles it had been in before.

They crossed into the kitchen next, and it took them twenty minutes to clean it completely, because Knuckles had had the inclination to throw everything out of the cupboards before hitting the refrigerator, so various cookware was tossed around the room like confetti. Knuckles didn't know where any of it went, so it was solely up to Sonic to pick everything up and put it in its correct place.

Only problem was, Sonic didn't know where anything went either.

Sonic's kitchen knowledge expanded to include where they can opener was and how to operate the microwave, because the only things he ever cooked were chili dogs. Tails did a bulk of the cooking, because he enjoyed watching the chemical reactions or something… Sonic didn't really have a clue why Tails liked it actually.

So, he played the guessing game with most of the pots and pans. The plates were easy, as was the silverware. The glasses hit their spot seconds later, and most of the food was placed into the table for easy pantry deposit. Knuckles grabbed the cans off the table and walked them into the small food closet, placing them where he supposed they went.

While he was slowly doing that, Sonic dashed up the stairs, cleaning up the towels and other things as he went. Easily, he ran through the whole upper area of the house, checking for anymore wreckage. There was none, thankfully, and he was about to slide down the banister to go start dinner, when a small sound from the direction of Tails' room stopped him.

He padded up to the closed door, placing his ear onto the wood. Soft, classical music filtered through, but, it couldn't mask the sound of muffled sniffling from making it through to his finely tuned ears. Sonic felt his heart clench as he turned away, letting his little bro' mope a bit. He knew he was being hard on him, but sometimes, he had to put his foot down. Tails didn't take him seriously most of the time when it came to groundings, because he was a pretty laid back guy, but every once in a while, the little fox had to be punished.

Besides, he _had_ dunked him into water.

_Twice. _

Sure, he had agreed to it, but that was _beside the point_.

With a sigh, he walked back to the staircase, trying to get his mood back up. He moseyed down the steps, hands laced behind his head in a pose of pure relaxation, ideas for supper spinning through his head.

_Yup_, he thought, _chili dogs it is._

"Hey Knuckles," he called as he walked into the room. A loud bang followed by a thick round of cursing came seconds later. Knuckles crawled out of the pantry, rubbing his skull.

"_What_?" He snapped, voice sharp.

"I'm gonna make some chili dogs."

Knuckles glared, taking a deep breath to keep himself from yelling. "You startled me into hitting my head on a shelf to tell me _that_?"

"I'd startle you into cutting off your toe to tell you that."

"Smartass."

"Yup."

A short glaring contest developed after that, green sparking against indigo. After about five seconds, both looked away from the testosterone filled haze that had cropped up between them, rolling previously glinting eyes. Sonic turned away, heading to the fridge to grab some hotdogs.

"I don't like chili dogs."

Sonic froze, the refrigerator door swishing closed behind him. "I'm going to forget you said that." He started towards the stove, but Knuckles spoke again.

"I don't _like_ chili dogs."

Sonic didn't freeze this time, but he did pause for half a second. "I can't forget something if you feel the need to remind me."

"There's no need to forget something that I'm just going to keep reminding you of." Knuckles stood, dusting off his knees and walking across the room to stare out the window. "I won't eat any stupid chili covered cow leftovers."

Sonic placed a hand over his heart. "Chili dogs are not 'cow leftovers' as you so adequately put it." He spoke with feeling, briskly walking across the room to grab a can of chili out of the pantry. "They are a work of art and science. You have to balance the chili and the cheese perfectly, and you can't overload it with relish." He paused, voice shooting out of the closet. "Where'd you put the chili, you oversized _mouse_?"

"Woah now," Knuckles held up his hands as he spun around. Sonic's tone had been one of desperation and of anger, as if a can of chili was the equivalent of a Chaos Emerald. "It's on the middle shelf, to the left, Mr. Needlemouse."

Sonic stalked back out, a can clenched in his right hand. He marched his way up to the echidna, brandishing his chili like it was a sword. "Listen here, _Knux_, that was a nickname given to me by the good people of Green Hill Zone. I would appreciate it if you didn't tarnish it with your tone, mister." The hedgehog waved his weapon in Knuckles' face before pulling an abrupt about-face and ambling back to the stove to finish cooking.

Silence followed after that, thick and penetrating. The next few minutes passed quickly, with Sonic heating up chili and hotdogs and Knuckles setting himself at the table with the newspaper, catching up on surface news.

"Eggman hasn't attacked lately?" He asked, noticing how some wedding was taking up the bulk of the front page.

"Nah," Sonic answered, sipping at a chili covered spoon. "Won't be long now."

"Mm." Knuckles hummed, flipping the page. "What'd you think it'll be this time? Giant fighting robot?"

"He's already done that."

"Sonic-like android?"

"I've lost track of how many times he's done that."

"Tails-abomination?"

Sonic shuddered. "Never again…"

"Awaken an ancient, sleeping god?"

"Twice."

"What _hasn't_ he done?"

"Um… Throw me into the sun. That one would be new."

Knuckles didn't have a reply to that, though he did crack a smile. "Suppose he _did_ throw you into the sun? What would you do then?"

"Hm." The hedgehog scooped fully cooked dogs from the water they were boiling i, placing them on a plate. "Probably use the ambient Chaos Energies hanging around in the gases and go Super."

Knuckles fell over, filling the room with laughter. It was a loud, foreign sound to Sonic, who just stood there staring at the echidna. Holding his sides, Knuckles gasped out, "you're hilarious when you're talking out of your ass."

"What?" Sonic stared at him with his mouth in a little 'o' shape. "What'd I say?"

Knuckles opened his mouth to answer, but a soft _ping_ing sound at the window caught his attention and stopped the phrase from leaving his throat. He pushed away from the table, sauntering towards the square pane. Easily, he raised a gloved hand, placing it on the glass. "It's raining…"

"Huh…" Sonic grunted, mixing the chili one more time before pulling it off the stove and setting it down on a hot pad on the counter. "You don't think it'll thunder do you?"

"Hm…" Knuckles intently examined the clouds floating past. "Well, I'd say ye-"

He was cut off as a loud boom pounded into the house, rattling the glasses in the cupboards and shaking Sonic to the core.

Upstairs, there was a loud yelp and a bang.

Sonic was gone in seconds, a streak of blue leading up the stairs.

_Well,_ Knuckles thought to himself, turning off the stove,_ that's one thing I'll give him. He's an excellent big brother._

* * *

_Well, cheap jokes, crap plot, and characters mishandled… This is an awesome fic! ((brick'd))_

_Anyway, fun fact: I wrote this while I was watching Looney Tunes, so, that's probably why it's so jokey… _

_So, review please? I'd appreciate it. Would help me get the inspiration to write faster next time. _

_Also, please go to mine and Yami-sama42's shared profile (Hikami42) and read the story we're writing jointly! Here's some info on it:_

After Sonic has died, Tails puts his shoes on and through them, Sonic's spirit can talk to him. Eggman takes over the world, forcing our heroes into hiding. Years later, a young hedgehog named Nick is pulled in. Turns out, he's more than meets the eye.

_Don't worry, it's not an angst or anything. It's actually more of a humor than anything. _

_Anyway, I'm done with selflessly plugging fictions. I hope you have a great day! _

_(P.S. The next chapter should have a companion to go with it!) _

_Review please? _


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